Welcome to Ace's Website!

Well, now that I know how to, well, do basic code, I'm sort of overwhelmed by the work that has to take place for me to get this website to the place I want it to be in. I can really only move one step at a time, you know.

For one, I think websites are a little too pretty these days. Too modern, too chic.

So I'm going to make a really ugly one, just for my personal pleasure.

Here's a piece I wrote recently. Hurrah!

You know, I’ve recently developed a reverence for the rat. Yes. The simple house rat, hated by all. I suppose that’s something to empathise with. Of course, a typical person wouldn’t know the first thing about rats, and consider them simple vermin. The typical person is a fool.

For one, rats are incredibly hygienic creatures. Some dirt is inevitable. A man who lives next to a factory will never be able to rinse off the scent of smoke. What about lab rats, you might ask. Have you seen a lab rat? All pudgy and white and pink-eyed? Do you truly believe that a street rat would consider a lab rat one of its’ brethren? I mean no ill will towards the lab rat, but the audacity with which it shares the name of the rat fills me with rancour. The lab rat, having been fed according to the scientists’ whim every single day of its life. The lab rat, running mazes, imbibing narcotics if only to prove bogus scientific theories by correlation. The lab rat, having never made a true decision in its entire life, could never begin to fathom the power of the street rat.

Every other animal moves forward in the same way- they plant their feet and push their bodies forward. Simple. The rat, however, does not do this. Focus. The next time you see a rat running about. This will be difficult, because we do not have exhibits for rats, and a rat sighting is not typically associated with the appropriate awe and fascination, but rather a visceral disgust and even fright. This problem is further exacerbated by the rat’s tendency to dwell in dark, dank places. No matter. The next time you are treated with the sight of a scurrying rat, observe it closely, and you will see its unique mode of propulsion. Instead of locking its feet into the earth and pulling its body forward, the rat pulls the earth behind them. It will be as shocking a discovery to you as it was to me, but once you get a good look you must believe this, or else doubt your senses entirely. The sight alone challenges the entirety of your beliefs. The noble rat. Imagine. The Earth is only able to spin because of the combined force of millions, no, billions of rats, toiling against the Earth’s crust, and so consistently too, to make sure the sun rises again the next morning. The very thought invites worship.